Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Amarillo By Morning, Phoenix Sometime Tomorrow

I made a crazy cross-country trip this week. I left Secaucus, New Jersey, Saturday morning. After a brief stop in Exton, Pennsylvania, I left to come home. To Phoenix that is. Driving.

To those of you that may be navigationally challenged like my eldest sister, those places are on the other side of the country. According to mapquest, the drive was estimated at 2516.47 miles with 38 hours and 38 minutes of driving time (this is the route that I took through Nashville and Dallas. Missouri is slightly faster).

See, I opted for the Nashville route as I have made this drive twice before and have never gone this way. Also, seeing as how I would be passing through on a Sunday I figured I could go to church there and find my Mormon Carrie Underwood and kidnap her.

Sunday came and after showering at a truck stop (who knew there were showers at truck stops? You pay seven dollars and you have a nice little bathroom to yourself!) I arrived at the church about eight. I felt like I should go to this little branch and found myself in the midst of a lot of old people. Not exactly a place to find a hot twenty something year-old cowgirl. I did stay for all three meetings though and participated as much as I could.

I need to take a moment to reminisce now. When I lived in Bay City, TX, there was a pecan grove not far from the church. Sometime over the weekend fallen branches were gathered out of the grove and moved to the side of the road where they would be collected by the city Monday morning. Dressed in our Sunday best, my father and I often stopped on the way home from church to pick up some of the wood before the city so he could fuel his smoker. If only I had a picture. Good memories.

As I left the small branch Sunday afternoon, I noticed a similar pile of wood stacked in front of a house. I laughed a little as I remembered the good old days and stopped to take a picture to send to my dad. Then I got a flash of inspiration. Why don't I bring him some home?!! Dressed in my Sunday best, I parked on the side of the road, popped my trunk and loaded my trunk up with four or five good size logs to transport to Arizona. What a good son I am.

As I get to the second church building I see a parking lot filled with people in Sunday attire sitting around tables. The thing I was silently hoping for was coming to pass. I was catching the nine o'clock ward having lunch!!! I promptly jumped in line, grabbed a plate, and was soon enjoying my first home cooked meal in a week and a half.

I walked into sacrament seconds before the meeting started and spotted two attractive girls sitting by themselves in one of the side pews. Conveniently there was just enough room for one more next to them. I sit down and we start talking. Not only do they not have accents, but they are from Utah!!!! Are you kidding me?!! I go to church in Nashville to find Utah girls!!! Really nice girls mind you, but surely not the sexy cowgirls I was expecting. This is more what I had in mind.

Is that really so much to ask for?

After my rest stop nap Sunday night I woke up to a dead battery. I don't know if I left my lights on or what, but it wasn't what I would have hoped for. The second people that I asked had cables, though they were really crappy and wouldn't work. At an hour and a half I started getting antsy, as my attempts to fall back asleep had failed and I was now just wasting time. I thought how much I wished I had a battery charger and briefly had a MacGyvor moment. Except that his ideas always worked and mine never even made it completely into action.

Yes, that is me attempting to charge my car battery with my two drill batteries. At the two hour mark I finally found a nice man with working cables and was back on the road again.

The rest of the drive was rather uneventful. Had a nice drive through Dallas, Fort Worth, had some good barbecue at Sharon's in Abilene. Not living at my parent's house anymore I don't get the chance to enjoy good brisket nearly as often as I should, and it cheered me up considerably.

After driving the rest of the Lone Star State I made it without incident through New Mexico and at last arrived in Tempe at five in the morning. I said good night to Bridget, Ariana, and Chelsey, and then I got into my amazing bed. Mmm.

p.s. this route actually doesn't take you through Amarillo. It just sounded cool.


A.C.K. Family said...

It does sound cool, love that title. Anyways that is a lovely post dear brother but if you had run into that scantaly clad cowgirl in a church meeting you would have thought,"well I hope she plans to change into her modest sunday attire before she comes into the chaple". Right?
ha ha

Anonymous said...

I'd just like to take some credit for the Mormon Carrie Underwood line...

And maybe if you run into Utah girls in the South, you'll run into your dreamy southern cowgirl in Utah, right? Here's for hoping.

indeazgirl said...

I guess I should comment on how cool you are; how sweet the map is; how perfect the title is; how awesome the cowgirl pictures are; and what a good son you are for bringing home pecan. Or I could just tell you your blog is sweet and I'm glad you finally started this thing. Lucky us.

Sweet Em said...

While I do think you'll get some heavenly credit for finding a church to visit wilst driving cross-country, I think it'll only be for the 1st block of meetings. The second - I'm going to guess - no.

RC said...

So now I know why you didn't want me to get on and read this....SWEET BOY for bringing the wood! I can hardly wait. I only wish you would have had a pickup or trailer so you could have brought it ALL home. I have enough wood for one more good cook so let me know when you and Christin are coming home and the brisket and ribs will go on for sure. Love you buddy. (cowgirl pics were great! Was there anything so good as a rodeo in Texas and all those Rocky Mountain jeans?!!!!)