Sunday, December 14, 2008

Energy Efficient Carbieners

Once I made a comment to Ariana about how I was not that fast.
"The thing is you're not that slow," she replies. "It just has to be worth it."
She then proceeded to give me the run down on a theory she had been working on; energy efficient Carbieners.

The Carbieners aren't lazy, they are just energy efficient.
If they need to move quickly, they will move quickly, but only when necessary.
They will be on time for something if it is important. If things will go on just as normal without them, they will show up "pretty close" to on time.
They exercise, but only to the point to keep them from getting fat.
They could go visit their friends more (and they probably should). Usually they opt for making their house more enticing though so that they can stay there and have people come visit them.
Carbieners plan to have activities on their beds. This optimizes comfort and is incredibly convenient if anyone gets tired, as they do not have to relocate to sleep.

Though some in the world would like to think less of us for living this way, the truth is we are highly evolved organisms. The Carbiener children are simply preparing themselves for the end of the world. Everyone else will be running around wasting away to nothing while we continue on with life pretty much as usual. After years of perfecting our beings to function at the optimal efficiency, we will survive.

Who knows, maybe they'll have to donate our bodies to science. Make studies of us and teach economics classes about cost/benefit ratios and stuff.


Anonymous said...

I'm very proud of this theory. I am pretty sure that this is the stroke of scientific genius that will win me that Nobel prize...

Oh, how I love you Carbieners SO much!

A.C.K. Family said...


indeazgirl said...

This is why:
Our house is messy and clean in waves. I read somewhere that people who live like this actually save more time in the long run because they're not always running around picking stuff up.
Also, why Q-tips circle my garbage can. If I don't make the basket, I can always pick them up later at the same time I take out the garbage.
And why our garbage sits by our door until we go somewhere else and take it with us.
And why whoever is already up gets the water. Never both of us.
And why the laptop follows us.
And I'm sure I'll think of more.

RC said...

This theory is not limited to the children. Who was it that instituted the "no left turn" routes? Who refuses to go anywhere with just one stop in mind? I am glad that some of my genes came through.....

indeazgirl said...

And why I never dry dishes that dry themselves.