No this post is not about the awesome eighties group "Air Supply," but about how my air gets supplied to my body. See, when I was about eight I got into a little four wheeler accident. There was no blood, no broken bones, but I hit my head pretty good. It also was the only one of my four concussions that knocked me unconscious, and that includes my motorcycle wreck. When I woke up my dad was kneeling over me. I couldn't get up. He told me to squeeze his hand. I couldn't. I vividly remember his face and the fear that hit me. Luckily, the paralysis went away in about fifteen seconds. It seemed like I was pretty much unaffected by the wreck shortly thereafter.
However I started developing a breathing problem not too long after. I was often gasping for breath, very similar to a yawn. The problem was, I wasn't tired. I wasn't bored. I wasn't working out too hard. I just couldn't breath. I had a CT scan, went to a couple doctors, was checked for asthma, and was finally told that I had Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Seems a little intense, but I guess at eight you are very sensitive to things.
I realized later that if I talked things out, that the breathing problems stopped. I had several counseling sessions with my mom when I would recount the whole story, cry, tell her how it felt and why it scared me, etc. It mostly disappeared from my life. I say mostly because as I have gotten older, if my stress levels rise, it comes back. Over the last week it has surfaced once again, though more intense than it has been for probably six years.
The problem is, I don't exactly know why I am stressed. Since I do not know, I think and worry about it, and then I feel like I am more stressed. It's a vicious cycle. I do have stressful things right now in my life, but not anymore than they were last month. I actually feel like things are considerably better as of late. Maybe it's not me though. Maybe I am stressing for Christin, John, Ariana, Tyler, Bridget, Kristine, Bryan, Levi, and whoever else. Whatever it is, I need to figure it out soon.